we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize