Where did you get a picture of my penis
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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