Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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