STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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