Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize