two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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