Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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