nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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