I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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