Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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