make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
