the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
