She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize