I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize