This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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