I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
In America we eat man semen.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dicks are not precious.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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