She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
