I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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