Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
