I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
