I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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