What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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