is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
