The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
