Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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