I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch