Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.