Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.