She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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