What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
