You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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