Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
