i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
