She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She tied me up with her honor cords...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think your dad took our porno
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
