before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
