My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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