i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
