we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize