I just cut my nipple shaving
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
