Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
