if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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