some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize