haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think I am morally bankrupt
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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