Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
