I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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