forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
