If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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