don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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