Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
