Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
