Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize