so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
