Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
