Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
