This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
