I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Randomize
