god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
