you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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