i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
