I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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