Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
