I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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